New Year, Same (Super!) You
Like many of you, January is a big time for me to reflect and hunker down on goal setting.
It’s so rewarding to take the time to look at where I am in my business and my life, dream big on where I want to go, and set goals for the steps I can take to reach more of my dreams.
All wonderful – rainbows and unicorns kind of wonderful…right? Well…
Thing is… this is also a time of year where the cold, gray days really kick in, which can make me rather gloomy if I’m not careful. Motivation to get outside is squelched in exchange for warm cozy time indoors. But that lack of fresh air and outdoor fitness makes me an unhappy bunny.
And that’s not the only challenge. There’s another chilly, dark element in the mix… that of the villain I call “not-enoughness.” It’s that slimy son-of-a-pancake thought that lurks when I’m reviewing last year’s successes and challenges, as it’s noting the goals I haven’t reached. Or it’s mixing in doubt when I’m creating upcoming goals.
Why don’t you make this goal smaller? You really think you can do that this time? What about [insert some ridiculous example of a goal I didn’t reach in the past]? All this to make me feel like I’m lacking and should make my goals easy and vague so as not to fail at any. That voice that’s saying I’m not enough!
Know the voice I’m talking about?
It’s a cruel, cruel voice. And that voice, mixed with my already feeling cabin-feverish and blue, made for a really emotional day last Friday when I was setting big goals. I had to really lean in and sit with it to shake off feeling unaccomplished and lame (and I don’t mean in a snap of a finger way – but in a teary mess kind of way.)
I’m sharing this because it’s part of the process. That voice is our brain’s natural fear-based response to provide safety. But it’s gotten confused over time. The brain’s fear mechanism is designed to keep us alive. As cavemen, it was the wise voice saying, “Don’t put your head in the mouth of a saber-toothed tiger!” It’s still handy today to keep us from occasional hazards of day-to-day that come our way.
But setting goals? Committing to dreaming bigger? Declaring you want more joy and fulfillment in your life?? That’s not life threatening. That’s life enhancing. That silly, confused voice of caution.
So as you can see, that not-enoughness voice is a big fat liar. Because we are all enough.
We are perfectly imperfect, right on track for where we’re meant to be. Positioned and in pace of the greater lessons and expansive growth that makes our experience as humans so rewarding.
You’re lacking nothing. You’re simply learning and growing, at any age. And if past goals didn’t get achieved, who cares? There’s always time to achieve it later. Or to rewrite your goals if you realize your values and focus has changed over time.
If a goal in the past didn’t unfold the way you’d hoped, big whoop. A more impressive miracle is in store.
And if you’re stuck on the should’ve’s and could’ve’s and regrets of what you didn’t achieve last year, get unstuck. Because there’s good reason, even if it’s not obvious now.
It’s time to cast away the doubts, and take the action to allow yourself to soar this year. To forget about past fails and dare to make even bigger goals. Vocalize even bigger dreams.
Because you just might achieve everything you desire and more.
You might even attract something totally different, but even better than you’d imagined.
That’s the rule of making magic.
So if you’re still shaping your 2018 goals, great – do so with gusto!
Or if you’re resistant to make goals this year for fear of not achieving them, I invite you to say “No!” to that culprit that is the voice of not-enoughness, and reconsider.
You can do anything!
So if you come across that niggly voice of not-enoughness, shaming you for what you haven’t yet achieved, or keeping you from dreaming bigger, just remember this: You are super! Just as you are. Rather than the pressure to have a New Year, New You, see it as New Year, Same Super You! Because you’re already amazing, lacking nothing.
You can make goals that alter how you look or feel (lose weight, hang out with more positive people, worry less), but all while knowing you’re already one cool dude or dudette.
“If you can dream it, you can do it.” – Walt Disney